Letter To My F’n Neighbor
June 5, 2006
What the letter to the girl who moved in next door a few weeks ago, says:
Good Evening Neighbor:Welcome to our neighborhood. This note is to ask you to please refrain from excessive noise making in the late night to early morning hours. All of our bedrooms face your apartment and parking lot. I understand that your normal comings and goings are sure to be heard by us. However, I find that the slamming of doors, cars peeling out, and loud gentlemen to be a bit over what is usually considered normal comings and goings. Please also advise your friends who may be visiting you that there is large number of children in this neighborhood, and it is not wise to fly into the parking lot from Grand River.I appreciate your understanding.
Your Neighbor,
Krystal
What I really want to say:
Bitch you need to tell your booty call to shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear what he has to say at 5:50 in the god damn morning. Tell ya friends to stop peeling into the god damn parking lot before they kill one of our kids. Don't make me cut a bitch.
